ITs All About ME

Nowadays, I find that people does not respond to me much. Be an email or an sms or a chat message or some times a missed call, the other person gives no reply. I wonder if the person didn't hear the phone ringing or if it was ignored deliberately. But I keep waiting for the person to call me back which does not happen.

May be I am just horribly boring. Hmmm... I don't know if have always been boring or if this is a new thing. Wish I had some one to tell me the truth.

The funniest thing is that sometimes I bore myself with my thoughts. My thoughts are rather guilt-ridden or gloomy or sort of depressing. I don't like my past or my present. And I don't seem to have much hope in the future. Of course, I don't mean the great people I get to be with but even while we as a group are having a rather good time, I feel that I am not good enough. But as a whole, I have had a great life being a burden on others.

I wonder if everyone feels like this at times. Wish someone would stop ignoring me and talk to me. Or else I must just pay a counsellor and go talk and talk to her :)

Complexity?!?

Life is simple

But being simple is more complex

Also, complexity is the simplest thing

I may be simple to me; but complex to others

or I may be complex to me but simple to others

In short, Life is rather complex




It is in the way we look at at, right?

Reminiscence

To feel the same passion, the memories of which still set my heart ablaze...
To feel the eagerness for the first glimpse of his face...
To feel the deep depression of having to leave without seeing him...
To feel the restlessness, the hope, the bitterness, the sweetness edging to ecstasy...
To feel my heart my heart flutter...
To feel that death is better than this hidden love...
To read Turgenev and feel utterly broken...
To have him fill my thoughts during the day and dreams during sleep...




Ah! Memories of first love still sets my heart ablaze...

Being ME

Sometimes, I find it difficult to communicate. I often find that I am unable to impart what I really mean to say.

For instance, I remember one of my close friends talking about an injury she got in an accident as a toddler and my immediate response was "Its good thing that I was not around, I might have hurt you more". Everyone in the group stared at me. I am sure that I reminded them of the worst sadist possible. And I got so flustered that I couldn't explain that when she was a toddler, I would be the same and obviously would have been just a menace in the situation.

Another time, when someone was worrying about some family problems, I tried to lighten the situation by quoting a story from the newspaper. And she felt that I meant her family is so bad that it should appear as a gossip in newspaper.

And, then I try not to talk to avoid such situations and then am branded as a horrible person who doesn't even mingle with people.

WHAT TO DO ???

HA! Whatever!!!


What ever you say, I am me and I will remain the same self centered person that I am.

A little bit of everything

I want to be able to dream
I want happiness
I want love
I want excitement
I want to be entertained
I want to be popular
I want life to be easy



I want everything that is good

Any answers?

Life always challenges us with a lot of questions.

For me, few of the most difficult questions are:
1. Why is it difficult to wake up early in the morning?
2. Why is it difficult to stop eating junk food?
3. Why is it so difficult to switch off television?
4. Why is it that i feel so bored waiting for reply while chatting?
5. Why is it I feel bad when a friend forgets to invite me for his wedding while I myself forgot to invite him for mine?
6. Why is it that I expect me to have moments of extreme madness but not others?
7. Why is it that I feel frustrated when some random person who does not really know me say bad things about me?
8. Why is it that I keep thinking up such questions?
9. Why is it that I should write at least 10 questions?
10. Why is it that I just have to write the 10th one even when I am trying not to?

What ever!!! To Resume Whining

It is been a very long time since I wrote on this blog... Even though initially I couldn't type in Malayalam in the old one, I found a way out, turns out the problem may be with my computer and not with Google.

But no! Google, you won't get me to apologize! I am horribly egoistic !!!

Any ways ---- (I always feel that this phrase is grammatically wrong)... OK leave it

Any way, I realized that there are certain things that I am unable to express in Malayalam, my own mother tongue. It is bad! or is it? I think every language has its own limitations... English can never sound as sweet as Malayalam to me... but i often find that Malayalam can't be used to express my feelings...

May be because I studied in an English medium school where least importance was given to Malayalam, or because I get access to more English books than Malayalam books, or you could say because I don't even know the exact spelling of certain Malayalam words.

I really don't know why things don't go the way I want them to

Starting over

I just had a very bad experience. Google said that they don't support my mother tongue.

IT IS BAD!!!

Even after more than 62 years of independence from the foreign rulers, we in india still have a subservient attitude towards any thing western.

Anyways, blah!

So starting up a new blog!

New Day! New beginning!